Surprise Inspiration

Today has been challenging.

Bone pain is difficult to describe. It hurts from deep inside, aches and its unreachable. Massage and heat make it worse, laying still is not an option and moving around isn't helpful.

It's simply present and not going anywhere. The pain medication I'm on makes me a little loopy, light headed and just yucky. My head gets dizzy with standing and I feel the weight of a headache putting my head down.

The agitated, unable to be still or comfortable feeling is the kicker, though. I'm tired but unable to rest. I keep getting up, walking around in hopes of relief...it hasn't come yet. 

I try to cheer myself with a favorite treat, dried mangoes. Trying to apply enough pressure to chew mangoes makes my jaw ache in a way that makes my reward feel more like punishment.

And...my daughter is sick! Vomiting and fever all morning. She looks horrible and has been unable to keep anything down. I do not feel especially maternal caring for her, masked and gloved and completely aware of desperately trying to care for her and keep my distance at the same time.  

~.      ~.      ~.      ~.      ~.      ~.      ~.      ~.      ~.  

She's been over an hour now with water and pepto staying down. Her fever's not gone, but no longer increasing. We're taking a positive turn...

Watching her reminds me she's watching me. 
She's got a 24 hour bug and so do I. 
She's  going to get through and so am I.
This moment will pass, her inspiration will remain.