Sweet Ache of Validation

Last month, I challenged myself to do "some sort of exercise" each and every day for the entire month. Mike Daughtrey,my first-ever pitching coach and  a recent lung transplantee, joined me in the challenge, inspiring me and boosting my motivation.

I am really proud of how I handled the self-imposed challenge. I was so determined to reach my goal and I first got frustrated when my body didn't cooperate with my plans.  I missed a few days, felt defeated. Ugh.. As I continued on, i received so much support, friends rooting for me, impressed by me and even inspired by me...this has been eye-opening and motivating and uplifting and inspiring. 

I had planned on sharing my experience with people who care about me and anyone else, specifically pre-transplantees, that was interested. i planned on offering insight to the process. I planned on using my blog to inform others and to be an outlet for me. I thought this was a pretty lofty goal on its own.

I  hadn't planned on being labelled an inspiration. And I certainly hadn't planned that inspiration to boomerang back to me exponentially.

I tried to view myself as others see me. I realized ultimately my success isn't measured by reaching a specific goal, but pushing myself to do MY best. I re-read all my physical accomplishments in the past month in the third person, highlighting what I had accomplished instead of what I hadn't. 

And I continued, pushing myself each day, taking breaks when needed, and getting creative when required.  

• On days when I didn't have time to officially exercise, i added 12 lbs of wrist and ankle weights as fashion accessories to ensure i got a workout. 
• On walk/runs with my kids, I ran circles around them(literally) when their pace was too slow to keep my heart rate up. 
• One day, I walked a mile outside as it was starting to rain, then completed the second mile speed walking around the inside perimeter of the house, up and down stairs from the top level to the basement.  

I did MY best, ending by successfully exercising on 26 days in April. (Insert virtual high-five here---yay, me!). 

And, since last month, my health, the ups-and-downs of post-transplant life and the threat of parvo virus have not been prominent in my daily thoughts. I'm so grateful to have graduated to real-life issues to concern myself with, not just the previously ever-present threat of medical fires to be put out.

I consciously understand I am feeling the sweet peace of validation. I'd been through 6 months of post-transplant life, and it always seemed like some new disaster was lurking around every corner, always ready to strike. Dehydration and rejection and blood clots and drug side effects and anemia and, ugh...parvo. It felt relentless, and I was desperate to feel better, to experience the post-transplant "good life." I wondered if I would ever get to the elusive "good life," or if it was just a dangling carrot to keep me from giving up. 

Guess what? I'm experiencing the medical "good life" right now. All my numbers have been excellent, I wake up eager, and grateful for this plateau.  I have put the recurring doubt of whether transplant was really a good idea to bed. 

This month, I've set up a new physical challenge with my coach. We're going to battle it out, supporting each other and pushing ourselves. I'm excited!

Today, I spend extra time doing my strengthening routine. I am exhausted (and proud to be) by the end of my workout. A few hours later, as I'm climbing the stairs, my calves and quads remind me how hard I worked this morning. 

I feel a gratifying smile spread across my cheeks, and I painstakingly relish in the sweet ache of validation.